Apology

 Years ago I use to seek apologies from the people that hurt me. I use to fight tooth and nail for some glimpse of acknowledgment, some spark of regret that stemmed from the pain they caused. I use to explain over and over and over why I feel the way that I do. I use to think satisfaction came attached to a “Sorry” until I realized that the apology was never for me.

The other day you told me sorry…but that wasn’t for me. That was for you, somehow someway you feel that if you apologized to me it’ll make you a better person. That somehow someway you saying sorry would lessen the blow of all the hurtful things you did to me in confidence. For you, sorry was to ease your conscience. You knew that it would be meaningless to me because the depth in which you hurt me would never be outweighed by an apology. 

That sorry was for you. And if it’s one thing I’ve learned in this life is that I don’t need apologies, acknowledgments or closure to move on. So no, I don’t accept your apology.

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