What are you HAPPIEST doing?

 My mind has been heavy on creating the life I deserve, what that looks like and how to get there. It’s been heavy on self-care and self-love. Heavy on being in love and being loved properly. 


I’m happiest when I’m creating. I use to say years ago that I was a “multifaceted creative” because I did everything. I acted, I painted, I sculpted, I modeled, I photographed…I did it all. I was so free and so fresh that I knew no limits outside of myself. I’m happiest creating because that’s where no one makes the rules or tells me how, no one judges until its done or if I decide to even put it out there and honestly sometimes I just never put it out there. Partially because of insecurity and partially because there was something sacred about my art only being mine. 

I think that’s where I went wrong…fear…fear has crippled me with my talents and every time I say I’m going to do it, I’m going to take that jump, make that leap and put myself out there I freeze. I lose the flame and I become stagnant and I don’t know what that is because I know I have it… 

But my happiness also comes from motherhood, there’s a certain joy that sick’s to the walls of your heart when you’re raising a little one, a certain brand of happiness that always lives in you through them. To be honest right now this is the only thing I’m sure I’m good at lol the only thing I can do where I sit with my result every night and see what beautiful person I’ve made. 

To be honest with all of life’s events, the ups and downs, I think the universe is pushing me toward depending my creative abilities financially. And that’s scary because I absolutely have no idea how, I have no idea what that looks like, how long that will take or even if it…nahh I know I can be successful…? I can be successful… I will be successful. I will create the life I deserve through my talents, I will create the life my son deserves with my talents, I will be able to elevate myself and those around me through my talents. 



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