CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF #2: Do you love yourself? Why or Why not?

Let me start off by giving myself a little bit of credit... I love myself now more than I ever did. At one point I thought self love was mainly about accepting your features, your thoughts and our feelings. It didn't cross me that self love was more about structuring who you are and avoiding the things that hurt you and bring toxicity to your soul. I didn't think self love involved those that I choose to give my love too and who I decide to accept it from.

 Self love isn't all about loving the kinks in your hair, the color of our skin or how wide your nose is. It isn't only about accepting how naturally thin or curvy you are. Its more than just allowing others to persuade you into categorizing yourself as anything other than beautiful. Self love includes monitoring what energies you allow to flow within you. What you allow to feed my mind, body and soul. So with the knowledge of such I should be able to sit here and say confidently that I DO...I do love myself...right?

 Or maybe I don't?

 I mean I love who I am as a person,
I love how I've grown....and got to the point where I'm fully accepting of my flaws and every out pour of my emotions.

 But what about me loving the way I love?
The people I choose to love?
My friendships?
Relationships?

 So many times Ive chosen the wrong ones and rubbed it off as trial and error, not taking into consideration what energies they took away or poured into me. Ive bent and broke myself all because that self love I had alone became fickle when trying to create security with others.
Ive dived so far into self hate that I channeled the hurt that people had once given me on to the ones that try to mend me.
This is my struggle and my constant evolution. Summoning and repeating to myself what to allow and deny, what to give and suppress. The constant reminder that my balance of peace is important in EVERY aspect of my life.

 Learning that self love must be infinite. It is something that in each new chapter and engagement has to be given the adequate amount of nurturing and patience to make it self at home.

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