THE VOICE OF ASSAULT

This weeks topic was about separating the artist from the art. Is it possible? Is it necessary?

Often times I’ve held conversations with family members and peers about how personally in order for me to call myself a fan of a particular artist I have to have some insight to how they are on a personal level. 

This years major goal of mine is to create a more prevalent filter in my life. That means filtering what I read, the conversations I partake in, what I eat and many other things that ultimately affect your well being and train of thought. 

Music was established to convey a message. Every song serves a purpose in relaying an image or mood. Artist find themselves relating to their lyrics and there for feel a need to present it to the word. Sometimes these messages are over looked.

With the release of Surviving R.Kelly the above fact has become a strong realization for many. After hearing these women recalling their experiences and looking at the sexual history of R.Kelly many have now realized how monstrous he truly is. The signs that he himself has flaunted in the public eye for years is now not only being seen as stage entertainment but rather predator traits. 

I have always been overly sensitive about the topic of sexual abusive. Being one of the many women that have suffered from sexual assault and harassment the topic alone turns my stomach and triggers many feelings. At first I honestly had no intention of watching this documentary. I didn’t want to be bothered with the discomfort....but what good would that have done? How can I not listen to women openly finding the confidence to tell their stories and bring awareness? Yes I was uncomfortable, even outraged to say the least. This film made me realize not only things about said “R&B Legend” but things about the black community and myself. 

First things first, YES it is possible to separate the artist from the art! To say that you can acknowledge his wrongs but still feel comfortable listening to his music falls into the same category as turning the other cheek. Many of his songs also reflect what he was participating in in private, playing these songs equates to you supporting his lifestyle. 

The black community has a way of muting the black woman. For years these women have spoken out about their experiences, for years young black women have been hiding their abuse because of the shame that is tossed on to black little girls. The stigma of being “fast” or being called a “liar” has caused the struggle and hurt of many black women to be swept under the rug.

Not only do we mute the struggle of black women but we are blind to the struggle of black men. For years I’ve been told by young men that they have had their virginity taken away by older women, or that they’ve been molested and ignored when addressing the topic. Often times a lack of masculinity is also associated with a lack of sexual control leaving many men carrying these secrets or passing it off as a joke. 

The young mind is so fragile and can be so easily manipulated that things that we were trained to think is “ok” isn’t seen as incorrect until we revisit those moments and thoughts years later. Ive read post stating its the victims fault, “they were just stupid” “they wanted it”. It has become so easy for us to throw blame one the person affected than it is to throw accountability at the individual that is violating. I have read countless stories for children seeking help from adults after being sexually abused only to be called liars or punished for speaking out loud. I too have experienced that embarrassment of confiding in someone about my experience and then told “he would never do that, you’re lying”. This makes you feel alone and unprotected, and unfortunately the black woman is the most unprotected person in world. When a woman is raped or abused the first question is always “wellll what did you do?” “What were you wearing?” “Were you drinking” the search for reasons to flip the action of abuse on to the victim and not the abuser.

As a community we have become apart of the problem and hopefully as more women become fueled with the voice to speak out about their abuse, as more men become willing to LISTEN and protect and as more individuals take heed not only with their actions but the actions of those around us more men and women will legally be held accountable!